Monday, 2 May 2016

'Tiwa Savage/Teebillz breakup should serve as lesson to both singles and married' – Actress Padita Agu writes

Actress Padita Agu has shared her thoughts on the recent public breakup of Tiwa Savage and her husband Tunji Balogun aka Teebillz. In a long post she made on her Instagram, the actress cautions the singles to think before plunging into marriage and the married going through similar problems to speak out. Read her post below;

The resent Tiwa and teebillz situation has had me go through different emotions.
First was when I saw Teebillz post and all he said about Tiwa. At first I was pissed at his or their idea of marketing stunt for Tiwa's album sale. Second, I thought it may be similar to the case of Beyoncé firing her father as her manager which got him broke to the point of living on welfare. It can be really frustrating to go from having a lot to having a not.

My third stage of emotion was when Tiwa's video confession was released. What Tiwa said was not my main concern. Usually, when people speak, I don't just listen to what they say, I listen to why they're saying what they say and that gives me a better insight. Tiwa was bashed for saying the things she said. That she should have just played cool, she should have just denied the accusations and asked to be granted privacy....and some other comments.

It was at this point that I lost my cool. I am not even a Tiwa fan but I found myself taking the matter personal. I called my sister and was ranting about why the society would always put the woman at the receiving end! Why was it ok for Teebillz to say all that about her and it's not ok for her to say that about him. Why dint they shut the guy up from speaking? Why say Tiwa's confession would make Teebillz more suicidal? Do they know if what he said and did to Tiwa could make her suicidal as well? That she's not made a suicide attempt doesn't mean she's not going through issues enough for suicidal thoughts. She just chose not.  Why didn't they speak up before Tiwa's video and ask her not to speak at all? Why wait till she speaks, and now you are judging whether she said the right thing or not? Besides, if she didn't say all that and just stopped at denying the accusations, nobody including those asking her to say just that would believe she's innocent of the accusations. Why should she be the superwoman (not that it's bad to be one. But it's not anywhere near easy!) and live on with people calling her adulteress when she is innocent of it and is going through a lot in her marriage.

As if it's not enough what she's going through, now she has to swallow his public accusations on her and act all super cool? Common!! And so many other angry questions I ranted over.

I have also read some other views and write ups on this issues and have had course to rethink my thoughts. I have also had time to cool off from my initial anger and look at the big picture. At the end of the day, we all want the best for both Tiwa and Teebillz, except you're a witch or a wizard.

That being said, it would have been better if they both dealt with their issues privately. But what do you do when one party goes public? You are bound to redeem yourself or yourselves, depending on the extent of the damage. In some cases, the best solution may be separation and divorce. (Yes! Just read on ) while in many cases, it is reunion. However, it is not easy to tell which should be resolved by reunion or by divorce. But I can say for sure that if the union in the first place was wrong, (and by wrong, I mean very wrong. Some people would understand what I mean by this, if you've seen wrong unions before), then they should take some time off each other, break the wrong union. If they later find the need to unite again, then they do it well after repairing and healing from the damages.

My prayer is that both Tiwa and Teebillz find peace and resolve this the  best way possible by God's grace.

My advice to never-married-before single ladies, take note and never jump into marriage for any reason other than, I have known this man for a while, my spirit and soul is at TOTAL peace with marrying him. If you have some doubts, then don't brush it aside and go ahead. Don't say to yourself : he'll change, I can change him etc. Do not succumb to any form of pressure. Be it societal, peer group, age (biological clock thinking away) parental or romantic pressure or any for that matter. There is much more to life than just being a wife. There is much more to life than just having a family of yours. There is much more to life than having your own child. All of these are GREAT things, but don't get into it wrongly.

For the never-before-married single guys, please do not marry an ambitious or career lady and make her less of what you married her as. Do not expect her to reduce her ambition. Spend time and think about what kind of wife you would really want. And truth be told, a wife should sit at home and take care of your children and your home. At best, she should get a stay home job/business to support the finance. (Smh. Life of a woman) But if you opt for a career wife, be sure you can handle it. Trust me, it is NEVER easy.
It's not meant for all men.

For couples going through issues, I pray for you to scale through it successfully . But do not be silent about it, for silence is only compiling and suppressing it into a container, and when it's full, it would burst open. The damage maybe beyond repair. I urge you to both speak out and tell each other those things you feel and don't want to say so you don't hurt each other's feelings. Do the hurt now and heal. And if that does not work, then seek counsel. Try not to use the social media. It's torturing to have the whole world having a say in your personal lives. But if you are convinced that you've tried all means and it's not working or the other party is not cooperating and you choose social media, then I wish you luck, for you'll find solution , but at a high price. I hope you can pay.

Tiwa, you have done nothing short of human. You are a strong woman. Don't let anyone condemn you. You are doing well and you would be fine. This storm would pass and you would come out stronger. I pray for you.

Teebillz , I wish it dint turn out this way, but it did. Nevertheless , nothing God cannot fix. Take it easy and seek God. He'll grant you peace. If you were not a great guy, Tiwa would not have married you in the first place. Besides, God did not create anybody lesser. You are great. The enemy (The devil) can steal that truth from you only if you allow it. No witch or wizard can bewitch you if you do not allow it. It's all in your belief. Believe God. Believe He's for you and no one can be against you. I pray for you my brother.

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