Sunday, 8 May 2016

Kenny Brandmus opens up on how he handled hate and shaming as a gay man living with HIV

Nigerian brand expert who relocated to New York after he came out of the close as gay has opened up on how he handled hate and shaming as a gay man living with HIV. In a post he made on his facebook page, the Ondo state indigene said he handled it by initially responding to every hate message, then later pretending that there’s no hate out there and thirdly by giving himself time to process the hate. Read his post below;  
‘There are three primary ways I have handled hate and shaming as a gay man living with HIV. The first way always left me blue. The one where you have to respond to every hate message and fight for your truth. The second way - the one I adopted much later - puts me at a greater risk of depression. The one where you have to pretend there's no hate out there and just refuse to acknowledge any semblance of it. What this seemingly simple technique does to me is to make me internalize all the pains, then take it out on others or myself. The third way, something I discovered as recently as late last year, was a technique I happened upon during my mindfulness practice ... This unusual technique allows you to acknowledge hate, abuse or whatever. Call it what it is. Give yourself time to process it. Talk about it. Write about it. Or just find a way to say 'hey bitch, I see you. I hear you etc. In the same vein, while this evil is going on, allow yourself to acknowledge other beautiful things going on around you. Things like the air you breathe , the taste of your delicious dark chocolate, ( Ok, I had to chip that in. I can pole dance for a bar of chocolate ), the smell of a newly laundered shirt, the endless chuckle of a little child next door, the new milestones in your gym workout routines, that new selfie that you have filtered so well, you can't even recognize yourself anymore. See, the third way works for me best. It allows me to see the beauty around me and inside me without denying the challenges I face. I challenge you to give it a try. Living in mindfulness. Don't deny that pain, but don't get married to it.‪#‎Live’

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